I’m Chris Keys. The true personification of total sexual satisfaction. I am the sleaze on the keys. I have a dark heart. I live currently in Seattle but not for much longer. The rainy city has taken its toll on me, it’s time to move on. I have been a part a few musical projects in the last two years, Gape Attack!, date raped., Front Bottoms, and now I guess Procedure Club. I would like to also note I played drum machine with Rape Faction for two songs with a spoon and a bb gun pistol. Love is a battlefield, or so I’ve once heard. I really don’t know anymore, I don’t want to go to war. I plan on doing more stuff with Gape Attack! and I have also been working on some solo stuff called Passion Party (look below for The Scene for tracks, CL). Other than play music I like to spend my time finding out what people are made of, pushing them to the snapping point in which they try to cause harm to me. My words provoke aggression from time to time, it can be quite entertaining, I suppose.
I woke up in the morning the other day, walked into the bathroom, and stared in the mirror. Stared at my reflection until my stomach turned. I spat on the mirror and said “fuck you, you’re pathetic, disgusting, terrible, and more importantly, nothing.” I spend another 5 minutes in the bathroom before I go and lay my head. The phone rings, it’s her. She tells me that she is sorry she has broken my heart and she feels absolutely terrible, however, she still is leaving me. I hang up the phone, I am broken. I start to masturbate about all the things she did to me and could have done to me, I cum. The next day when I wake up, I walk into the bathroom, and break the mirror. I spit on my wounds. The phone rings, it’s her. Her voice is covered by humility and shame. Sniffles, Sniffles, Tears. I hang up. That was the last time I talked to her. Later that day, her friends found her in a puddle of blood next to an exacto blade. Sadness steals the serpent’s tongue.
I like girls who are as weird as I am, look good, and make love good too.
Gape Attack!- Down Down
Factums- Take Drugs
MP3: Factums- Take Drugs
Best band, kind of from Seattle.
Mark Lane- That’s Dream
Very Gary Neuman, but I like the way he sings.
Oct. 9th will be Gape Attack’s! last live performance in Seattle opening for the wonderful AIDS Wolf. It’s going to be a wild time, so if your in town, and know where The Black Lodge is, bring me drugs.
I’ve been bombarded by rad Chris’ music all night, though no complaints here, it’s been a blast. When new-wave rude meets shue-gaze sad, there shall be love, and there is. Punx cheekiness comes through in today’s featured music, so if you’re up to it, tag along. For more of this and to buy some of it, check the following links: Gape Attack!, Skrot UP , FDH RECORDS.
Gape Attack! | Passion Party
MP3: Gape Attack!- Fetal Disposition
MP3: Passion Party- Dark Sexuality
[Fetal MP3 Downloaded via]
Kid Romance- Don’t You Wanna
Chris: In my eyes this is one of the most interesting bands in the US. They have amazing pop sensibility yet retaining this odd trashy feel to their songs. I was actually lucky enough to hang out and jam with them one day. Lucy the singer, also gave me menstrual warpaint on my face in a backyard in Austin, I thought it was face paint.
Chris: One man “CREEP POP” from france. anti-social, sad, bliss.
CCCANDY- I’m A Punk [Myspace]
Ziegenbock Kopf- Men’s Room
Dirty Beaches- True Blue
MP3: AIDS Wolf- Teaching To Suffer
The Parade Schedule- Backyard